I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
