Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
