Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
