I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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