just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
