some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its about making memories worth repressing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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