i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think your dad took our porno
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
