nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
