How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They have beer where we have blood.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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