you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
