Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
