I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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