This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The air was thick with penises
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
