Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
