I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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