What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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