You smell like stripper and shame
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
