none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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