Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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