two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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