the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
