So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
