No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
