Soap is not a condiment
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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