apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
