just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
