I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
