Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
