i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
be right there i have to get my cape
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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