As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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