I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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