his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
