he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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