If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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