Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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