Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
