Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
