They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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