what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
