Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
