I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
