I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
