you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
