My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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