I can text with my tongue
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
