The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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