Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
