Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
