The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
