is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
