As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
