An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
A bitchslap is in order.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
