When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
